Monday, February 13, 2012

The Shortest Distance Between Two People (and cheesy things like that)

I love how my head fits in the slope of Joe's neck and shoulder. I don't believe in "The One," but simple things like puzzle piece body parts make it very clear God places people in our lives  for a purpose. Joe's purpose is for me to lay my head on his chest-- the soft ba-dum of his heartbeat in my ear and his voice to seeming to echo off of it-- and feel at home there forever and ever.

Except  baseball season takes him 1,000 miles away.

A month into our marriage, this time has come. I will not sugar coat my feelings and say things about being stronger and "the course of true love never did run smooth"* I won't, because being away from him physically hurts. If you have ever come off of serious painkillers, the slow disorientating lull-ish pain, that's what it feels like being apart. A feeling that grew familiar with our dating last season, but seems to have amplified in some culmination of the newness of our marriage and the flouting of the distance in the off season.

I wish I had found this for our cake

I once told Joe that it seems better to remain small to the world, this is after seeing Country Strong**. I told him that in trying to be big to the world, or rather maintaining this status was the tragic flaw of people-- and the tragic flaw of our society for perpetuating it. What love does, though, is make your world shrink to a beautiful microcosm between you and that person. You are big to them, they to you, and that is all that matters. If you can find this in another person: be willing to admit every flaw you have, forgive them for all of their flaws, be willing to admit all the things you want and then put everything they need as a higher importance. It's that simple.  None of the "I deserve this" or "I have a right." No, it isn't about your rights-- it's a servantile love that mirrors the love of God, and the kind of love that lasts.  Romantic comedies, women's magazines and society's definition of success tells us to demand, tells us we deserve something from someone. God tells us to give ourselves and our needs up to take up another's cross.

This is all to say that baseball season has a specific cross to bear with it. So though I curse the distance, Joe is called to be there. And I know his Christian presence has to change people, his example has to affect and inspire. I can affect and inspire by supporting my husband and respecting him and loving him more than myself, which I do--

          And in the end, my head is on his shoulder no matter where we sleep at night.

Happy one month anniversary to the love of my life. You inspire me and build me up when I fall. I pray I do the same for you, always.

* quote from Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. One of the most misunderstood quotes in Shakespeare. I'll explain another time, however.

** great movie starting Gweneth Paltrow. You have to watch it understanding what we do to each other as human beings, in the public and private spheres of life.

All photos except cake toppers courtesy of Kelly Hornberger Photography 

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